The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity, some of it was the real stuff of life: experiences both unique and ordinary. We spent a week at an Airbnb near the beach in Delaware and for all of that joy and fun, there was a lot of preparation and work. And throughout, there were moods and tempers, feelings and opinions that rocked the vacation boat. Then we transitioned immediately into getting our oldest ready for camp, a project that I almost completely managed. By the time, he was in the car and on the way to an incredible month, I was exhausted and overwhelmed.
I tried to process some of what I was feeling, but it all came out in a jumble of negative thoughts and assumptions. Why can’t things be smoother? Why do my needs come last? The thing that became clear was that the mind holds us back sometimes from seeing things more objectively and from allowing ourselves to veer from the labels we have given ourselves about who we are and what can do. The thoughts that spin out from us push us into the shadows, rather than into the sun where we belong. “We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic” wrote American psychologist, Susan Jeffers.
One thing that hindered my own sense of accomplishment was failing to keep my writing schedule. Being on vacation made it difficult to maintain any real schedule so I’ve forgiven myself for that one. But when I returned, I scheduled something over that time. Missing my writing appointment made me realize how important it is to me, how nourishing and enlivening it is to sit and create. It’s a sacred time that I give myself. And if I do not make space for it in my life, I feel the repercussions: the negative self-talk, the frustration and disappointment. Believing myself as a reflection of the Divine, allowing my own creativity into the world is an act of service to the Creator.
With this writing comes my recommitment to myself and my creative self. I am embarking on a journey with a few other women rabbis using the incredible book, The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron. It is something I have been wanting to revisit with others ever since rabbinical school when I was part of a group of rabbinical students. One can certainly do this process alone, but a group for accountability is helpful. It feels like the right time to do this because of the synchronicity that Cameron mentions in the book. It’s more than just a Police song (or two).
Last spring, when I was part of the coaching group I wrote about, it felt that the same messages kept appearing all around me, reinforcing the work I was doing. Cameron writes, “we change, and the universe furthers and expands that change. I have an irreverent shorthand for this that I keep taped to my writing desk: Leap and the net will appear”. It requires listening and attentiveness to the messages around us and giving ourselves the time and space to notice that the change is coming from more than one place.
There are two foundational practices along with the 12 chapters: morning pages and artist dates. Morning pages are about waking up each day and putting pen to paper before we turn our attention to other things. This is the perfect place for the negativity, the self-doubt, the pettiness, and the worry that takes up valuable real estate in our minds. Cameron refers to the nagging voice within that discourages us as ‘the Censor’, but we might have our own name for it. The Censor tells us why we can’t or shouldn’t, so best to let it have at it before we start the important work of our day; then, we simply close the notebook.
Artists dates are an opportunity to nurture our inner artist or, if you prefer, to fill our well and bring us back to ourselves. It slows us down and inspires us to keep going. It is a requirement of the process to take yourself on an artist date once a week. It does not have to be an elaborate plan or take many hours, but it should be something just for you to find some distance and peace from the noise of the world around us. I am already excited about finding some sanctioned time for myself!
Now that I am writing regularly, I am trying on the label of myself as an artist, a person who thrives in an environment where creativity is encouraged and endeavors to find ways of expressing myself.
I encourage you, no matter if you view yourself as an artist or not, to try out daily writing and gifts of time for yourself. Then notice the synchronicity, the ways in which the world has set out a net for you, and perhaps you may also come to see your work in the world as art.
Love this. The Artist's Way had a huge impact on me last year. I love that you're doing this with a group of women rabbis: You may not be surprised to learn that I am very interested in the ways art and religious learning and practice overlap and intersect. Looking forward to seeing where this takes you.